Spidey Senses Are Go!

Yeah, yeah I know it's tingling Spidey senses and going Thunderbirds, but frankly I don't really care, I like better my way.

The point, since there is one, is this brilliant story.

A young autistic boy had crawled out on to a window ledge endangering himself, and wouldn't be coaxed/hauled back in by teachers. On hearing a remark from his mother about how much the kid loved comics one of the firemen in attendance Somchai Yoosabai, henceforth known as SuperFireSpidey, hightailed it back to the station to crab his Spiderman cossie. How fabulous is he? Pretty freakin' fabulous as far as I am concerned!

GO SUPERFIRESPIDEY!

My Favourite Movie Lesson

"Spouting one liners makes your bullets do extra damage."

Someone called Sausage_Demon said this on imdb about Resident Evil:Degeneration but I think we can all agree that it seems to be a universal rule. And that it goes beyond just bullets.

What The Fuck?

It's almost not a question.

I get it. Really I do. I graduated at the shittiest time since I've been alive. But do you realise how shit it is to be a 30 year old graduate, who had a job before university, who managed to get a first class honours degree, and who now can't get a fucking a job? Then add to that a history of depression, of thinking you aren't worth a crap anyway, of assuming that everything you do is crap thanks to a bitch of a mother? Assuming you can use the word "mother" to the woman who gave birth to me. Which, by the way, you can't.

The woman who gave birth to me, I refuse to say mother 'cause I've heard there are some nice ones, made sure that nothing I ever do will be good enough. I was an A/B student, played the flute, made orchestra and choir, made Head Librarian, Class Sports Captain, Class Captain and was up for School Captain before I left. What the fuck did you want? I did it all bitch, but it still wasn't enough. Was it that I out did you? Are you actually that pathetic? I have to say I don't know, what more is there? Or was it just that you made a fucking mistake, hated my dad and made me pay? That sounds a lot more like it.

I could deal with your fucked-upness if it wasn't for the screwed up socialisation.

" . . . only a mother could love" - fuck knows, I just know I heard it.

"Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own." -Aristotle

"A father may turn his back on his child, brothers and sisters may become inveterate enemies, husbands may desert their wives, wives their husbands. But a mother's love endures through all."-Washington Irving

"Whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother's love is not."-James Joyce

"The desolation and terror of, for the first time, realizing that the mother can lose you, or you her, and your own abysmal loneliness and helplessness without her."- Francis Thompson

Yeah well FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU ALL.

A good parent is a good parent, a bad parent is a bad parent. Because not everyone is suited to it. Mine especially. I am, to all standard expectations, pretty fucking great as offspring. My mother's family thinks I rock too. After my mothers last fuck up my grandmother sent me a card telling me that she loves and values me and always will. Pretty fucking cool if you ask me.

But do you know what I can't shake? That fucked up idea that your mother is supposed to love you. That screwy invented notion that giving birth makes you a mother. That fucked up, human invented notion that a mothers love is guaranteed. Do you know where that fucked up idea leaves those of us born to bitches?

We will never get over it. Because no matter how brilliant we are, and I am pretty fucking brilliant, polls tell me I am, we can never be good enough, can never forget that our mothers didn't love us.

What the fuck did we do to deserve that?

I might have saved you fucking life if you hadn't screwed me over. Laugh it up now losers.

subtitle: Screw My Mother, I Can't Stand That Bitch.

Hello You.

I have decided that the new Diet Coke advert annoys me so freakin' much that I will no longer drink Diet Coke.

What the fuck is "I gotta be me?" and why the fuck is Duffy in this advert riding a bike round a supermarket? Frankly it's just fucking weird and if that's what drinking Diet Coke does to you I want no part of it.

Of course there is the silly implication that for Duffy riding a bike round a supermarket in the few minutes break between sets is being herself. Does that mean being on stage singing isn't? Well don't do it then. Of course that would mean you wouldn't get paid to make shitty adverts like this. Hmmm.

And on the subject of annoying adverts, Iggy Pop and the car insurance advert (it's just been on which is why I remember it). What the fuck is that all about? It's just wrong. It's not that I'm annoyed that he is promoting a company he clearly doesn't use (they don't insure musicians), I never really expect that to be true. Does anyone truly believe that what's her face from Desperate Housewives uses a home hair colourant? Or that Reese Witherspoon uses Avon cosmetics? 'Cause I really don't. What's wrong with the Iggy Pop ad is that IT'S IGGY POP SELLING CAR INSURANCE. Surely there's no need for further explanation?

And, since I'm on a roll and listening to the radio, what's with that Taylor Swift song? Is that even how you spell her name? Aside from the fact that I can't stand it generally, there is a line she sings that goes something like "You were Romeo I was The Scarlet Letter, and my daddy said stay away from Juliet.". So Romeo and Juliet is the theme, tired but okay, but The Scarlet Letter? What? If I remember correctly, and it has been awhile so I might be a little off, isn't The Scarlet Letter a book about a woman publicly shamed and shunned for adultery? And the Scarlet Letter is her mark of shame? So how does any of this factor into Ms Swifts little ditty? Fucked if I know. Wait, said shamed lady has a kid as a result of her affair, and I think it's a girl, so is that it? Is Ms Swift's Juliet the result of adultery? That's the best I can do.

Things I Like

"I'm sorry, I don't speak batshit crazy . . . "

Hmmmm.

I like The F Word, that's why I link to it. I find it intelligent, informative and interesting. It raises my awareness of certain issues. To me it's all round feminist goodness.

However, I'm not quite sure how to describe my reaction to this particular piece.

My initial reaction to the quote "Does the woman in your life really need a job?" and the "Yes apparently working women caused the credit crunch." was that I felt a certain amount of, well, anger. Because it does actually seems like the kind of point some thick type would try to make. But then I read on and got to here:

"But Newton isn’t finished - far from it - as he avers that “Women also have an important role to play in jobs that are too demeaning for men, like teaching” (because obviously educating the next generation is demeaning rather than, well, crucial and I assume he’d draw the line at women teaching science or in Universities because that’s far too butch for us and we might break a nail /end sarcasm/)."

Re-read the highlighted bit. Seriously, who could take that seriously? So I went back to the link to the original article and read Newton Emerson's piece. Holy fuck, that is not serious. Really it's not, read it. Don't get me wrong, it's not as amusing as it's supposed to be but IT IS NOT SERIOUS. And to back up my reading of it I googled Emerson. He's a Northern Irish satirist, used to run a site called the portadown times, along the lines of the onion but obviously a little more risky. Taking on Northern Irish politics is not for the fainthearted.

So I wish Louise Livesey had done the same. Then she could have acknowledged that its a crap piece of satire, and then ripped it to shreds anyway. That would have been fun. Instead her piece takes the article seriously and leads to this. And comments like this "AH, gotta love that shrill bleating of UK feminism. Where's Camille Paglia's rebuttal?".

This makes me want to go "Aaaahhhhhhhrrrrrggggghhhhh". So I did. There are enough jerks out there to take swipes, it would be nice if we didn't paint extra targets on. Two minutes of checking would have taken this target away. Don't get me wrong, arseholes would still have a go as that is what they do, but I prefer it when they aren't pointing out something I kind of agree with. Emerson's piece was satire and that seems to have passed Livesey by. Which sucks. Because while "Would you Eve it ?" may be Livesey's personal opinion it is posted on a site that claims to represent contemporary feminists in the UK and provide a community space. And to my mind that calls for a little responsibility because while the crap "Women just don't understand" mentions Livesey specifically it also attributes The F Word blog to her, rather than just that entry.

On the plus side a few of the commenter's seem to have realised that Emerson's piece is supposed to be funny. Even if it's not.

As Good As It Gets

Got this from upside down dogs.

So freakin' cute.

And yeah, this is as good as your going to get right now.