Nickin' Stuff From Pumpkin, Again

So I wended my way around the net for a bit and, unsurprisingly, ended up at Pumpkin's place. Hey, she makes me laugh. Visit if you don't believe me. Ah, mutual appreciation, what it's all about.

So since I got a woohoo from her I decided I would visit some of the other woohoos. I really do love my command of the English language. And no, woohoo is not rude. Well, not the way I'm using it. You can use it which ever way you please.

I went to Norman's place. I had to know why the lady is Norman. Who wouldn't ? Norman is great. Why Norman is Norman is great. Normans ghost stories had me laughing, especially shouting at the ghost. About coffee. Don't get me wrong, I sympathise with Normans terror at the whole thing, it's just I personally haven't been frightened by a ghost. Wasps on the other hand freak me the fuck out so I just imagined the stories were about them.

Not the best plan I ever had to be honest. Hearing wasp foot steps coming up behind you ? A wasp shouting "Hey" at you ? Hell no. I went back to laughing at the ghosts. Then a frickin' wasp buzzed up to me. Queue hysteria. They are monitoring my thoughts man, planning their attacks. The skinheads of the insect world have formed a coalition to get at me. Nooooooooooo. I still don't know were it went. Will be sleeping completely under the covers tonight. Who needs to breathe ? Mind you, compared to Norman's spider maybe it's not so bad. Actually no, I'll take the spider, it's not like you're gonna lose track of that thing. No wait, is there a neither option here ? I'll take that, thanks.

After ensuring that I had a can of hairspray beside me in case of wasp attack, I continued my wandering ways. I checked some of Norman's posts and links and somehow stumbled into wendi aarons world. I don't know how, Norman doesn't have a link to her, maybe it was through a comment, maybe though another link. Oh, who cares !! Wendi is great too. She makes me laugh. And she doesn't have scary spiders. That I know of.

You may have received an email at some point about a letter sent to the some ass at Proctor and Gamble, over the "Have a Happy Period" greetings on the adhesive tape of Always maxi pads. Well ladies, and any gentlemen who are aware of this, it seems it was not an urban/net/whatever myth. Wendi is the author. It's posted on her blog in march. I absolutely fucking love it. Please, go to wendi's place and read it if you are unaware of it. It contains immortal lines like;

"Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants."

"does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness—actual smiling, laughing happiness—is possible during a menstrual period?"

"If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"?"

"I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere."

I never got passed wendi's place.

Have You Found Jesus ?

I love this. I first found it on clipmarks then went to the original site. They asked people not to right click so I haven't. Get up off your lazy ass, or stay sitting on it which, lets face it is the more likely of the two, and go check it out. My lazy ass concurs.

I'm not much fussed about any one's religious convictions, if they keep them to themselves. I personally think organised religion is dubious, it gives people a mask to hide behind. I can think of a few people who hide behind the so called virtues of their religion but their actions speak to their true character.

Anyway, jumping out on people who are casually waiting on their bus is downright rude. Strike one on the whole good Christan thing I'd say. I don't remember the Bible saying is was okay to be ill mannered. It has been awhile since I read it so I could be wrong. And no, I can't be arsed to check. I like making random statements based on little more than my bullshit opinion and maybe a hazy memory of something I once read/heard/saw/dreamed.

I love the comeback and will borrow it to be used with great style against annoying Christian types when they try to sign me up. Or any other religion if appropriate. This post is notification that credit is given to the creator (just of the piece, still trying to decide about the creator/s of all things). Sorry it won't be after each and every deployment, it would ruin the moment.

FHM Gets Wrist Slap For Topless Pic Of Underage Girl

FHM has had a wrist slap over an image it published of a 14 year old girl. Yup, a wrist slap.

A spokesman for FHM said: "We regret any distress caused to either the girl or her parents. When the picture - a posed, topless shot - was submitted to us for publication it appeared to be of a much older girl taken by a male friend. The information with which we were provided also suggested this was the case."

I like the need to let us know that it was a posed topless shot, so obviously the girl in it had given up any rights, I mean she posed for the picture. And someone who wasn't her sent it to you, saying it was okay to publish. Well that's all right then. Idiots.

FHM had argued that it received around 1,200 photographs each week for publication either from or on behalf of women posing topless or in their underwear. It was surprised the girl was 14 as she appeared to be older, and had "no reason to believe the image was taken without her consent".

Didn't consider that she should be consulted before it was published ? She might have consented to the picture being taken but she might never have consented to it being published. This seems to be saying that anyone can submit a photo and FHM will make no effort whatsoever to check that the subject of the picture agrees to publication. 'Cause obviously a woman wearing only her underwear or posing topless has no fucking rights, she's only there for moronic male consumption. I have no doubt that some of those 1,200 pics are sent by, or with the full knowledge and consent of the subject but this case highlights that not all are. And as previously stated, just because someone agrees to pose for their boyfriend does not mean that they consent to publication.

It's like the whole blow up over that girl from High School Musical. Oh my god, she posed nude for a picture intended for her boyfriend !!! Nudity !!! It's the devils work !! People are clamouring to vent their opinion on the poor girl. Very few people seem to be asking how a private photograph ended up on the net. I haven't seen anything about trying to track down the person responsible and prosecute them for their actions. One unfeeling idiot suggested that it's not a situation anyone should be upset about. Okay, maybe they are referring to not being upset about the fact that a teenage girl got naked. That I agree with, nudity is not something to be scared of. However the fact that this private picture ended up on the net is something to be upset about. Very fucking upset about.

Quotes And Things

Still not getting enough sleep so the best I can do is steal other peoples words.

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; truth isn't.
~ Mark Twain

If you believe in the existence of fairies at the bottom of the garden you are deemed fit for the bin. If you believe in parthenogenesis, ascension, transubstantiation and all the rest of it, you are deemed fit to govern the country.~ Jonathan Meades

In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.~ George Orwell

If you understand everything, you must be misinformed.~ Japanese Proverb

It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
~ Albert Einstein

More Irn Bru

'Cause it's great.

Pumpkin Inspired

Liar, Liar

Turns out that the particular neighbour's landlord I've been waiting on to do something is not responsible for the problem after all. One of the other ones is. One of the ones who already told me they had checked and it wasn't them. Turns out one particular landlord has a history of a "It's not my problem" attitude. And his is the property the plumber said was the most likely cause of the problem.

Well it's about to become his problem in a very big way. I am now going to every official agency and person that I can think of and I'm going to cause merry hell until it is fixed. And then I'm going to make an official complaint about the noise his tenants make, which up until now I was loath to do, believing that it was better to deal with it myself. Not any fucking more. Nice has officially left the building.

Bitch In Person

Apparently turning up and being a bitch, albeit a well mannered one, in person is very effective, especially when combined with the word solicitor. Someone will be out to look at, and deal with, the problem today.

Release your inner bitch, I say.

I must also give thanks for the fact that my tv, net and phone services are operational again. That took no inner bitch in person or otherwise.

No Sympathy For The Devil, Lots For His Mum

Oh my whatever deity you believe in.

Poor Pumpkin. Only read this if you have a strong stomach. Not so much the gym thing, that's totally self inflicted but the rest . . . . . . .

Money For Incompetent People

Having previously alluded to how I feel about personal injury lawyers I'd like to talk about the adverts for their services.

The first one that springs to mind is a tv advert. A man fitting a something to an outside wall with a drill tells us he was given the wrong ladder. Yup, we can see from the ad that he was indeed given the wrong ladder. It's just a straight ladder propped against the wall. Now my diy skills suck but even I am aware that if I prop a straight ladder against a wall, climb it and try to use a power drill at the top to drill into the wall that I am going to be very quickly introduced to the ground with, at minimum, a large SPLAT ! And this guy tells us he was given the wrong ladder for the job BUT PROCEEDED ANYWAY ? So either he can't do his job properly, or he was looking for an injury so he could claim. Either way, screw it. Wait, can you handle a screw driver ??? Or are you going to stab yourself with it ? Do I care ? Here have the damn screw driver, do what you like.

The second advert is one I have heard on the radio. Some guy is telling us that he is the man responsible for telling newbies how the equipment works, and that he doesn't really care if you remember all the instructions and safety rules or not. So according to him, when you get injured sue the company. Actually I'd want to know just how much of frickin' idiot you are ? If you are going to be dealing with equipment that could cause injury why wouldn't you make sure you remembered the safety rules ? If you didn't get something why wouldn't you ask for clarification or repetition ? Oh that's right, your that stupid arse from the tv advert. Couldn't do that job right, can't do this one either.

It seems to me that they are advertising that stupid people can sue companies for money over injuries caused by their own utter stupidity. Great.

My general disdain for these adverts does not mean that I don't think avenues for legitimate claims should exist. Of course they should. If injury is caused by willful negligence sue the bastards, preferably for lots of cash. But if you are injured by your own stupidity or incompetence, then shut up, learn something and move on. Or you might become a contender for a Darwin Award.

I apologise if none of this post makes any sense what so ever but I've been awake since 6:15 when the noise from my neighbours heating system woke me. It still has not been repaired. I have now given up being polite over the phone, I'm going to the landlords office to be a bitch in person.

Words Damn Near Fail Me, But Not Quite

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON ?

Colin Read, who I must assume is a complete and utter bastard, loser, piece of shit, fuckhead, scum, please add any you feel appropriate, walked away after being convicted of three counts of actual bodily harm against his wife. Let me be a bit more graphic, he slashed her with a knife, beat her for complaining when he did and branded her with an iron because she didn't iron his shirt or make his sandwiches. Oh, sorry, he was fined £2000, so I guess he didn't walk away completely free.

Yup, that does say £2000. You see it was the circumstances of the marriage that led to the abuse according to the judge, so he's unlikely to re offend since his wife is divorcing him. Smart girl. But what circumstances ? Well, you see the poor little lamb was all stressed out working 17 hour days at his £90,000 a year executive job. Poor didums. It must have been all that stress that led him to tell the court his wife was self harming, before changing his position to, well, I might have attacked her but I just don't really remember, I mean slashing the woman I'm supposed to love and have been married to for about three months, beating her and branding her back with an iron, not very memorable really.

Apparently putting him in prison would help no one. Not clear on the logic of that. . . . . . putting violent criminals in prison doesn't help anyone. . . . uh what about the victim, and potential victims ? Then there is society at large, you know, seeing crime punished. Sending a message to people who think it's okay to abuse their spouses that their behaviour is unacceptable and will be dealt with in an appropriate manner ?

He didn't get community service either, despite it being recommended. Wanna know why ? You know you do. Sit down first though.

'Cause the oh so fabulous judge, Recorder William Featherby, couldn't see how Mr Read could fit it in around his job. Take a moment to let that sink in.

Colin Read, a convicted violent criminal, was, in the judges opinion, too busy to be punished.

Well that's okay then. Obviously.

This is the story I originally found. It has the bastards picture as well.

Then I found this.

Then this. Which just pissed me off even more. A £500 fine for dragging your wife out of bed and knocking the living shit out of her. Just fucking wonderful. I'm sure Stuart Brown felt the punishment in that. Took a real toll on this £100,000 a year pay packet. And in this case the magistrate thought,

"No punishment this court could enforce could come anywhere near the impact you feel this had on you, your profession and your colleagues,"

Eh ? The guy didn't lose his job , although there will be a review. A review ? He's an anaesthetist, from the Greek an-aisthesis. It means without feeling. A little further digging and I found this. His picture is also shown. So the guy has a supervision order and had to complete a domestic abuse programme too. He might be struck off or suspended b y the General Medical Council.

Whoop-dee-fucking-do. As far as I am concerned both of these so called men need locked up.

Oh, Recorder William Featherby was a personal injuries lawyer. Now in my opinion any one who spends the bulk of his/her time doing that is . . . . well, use your imagination.

Life Advice From A Flow Chart

Here's possibly the best diagrammatical (is that even a word ?) piece of advice I have ever found. Not that I've found many to be fair, but it's bloody good anyway.

Found here. They tell you where they got it from, then the next they tells you where they got it from. Soon we're gonna need a flow chart for that too.

Can you tell I'm not doing much else today than wandering around the web ? I am waiting on an important phone call, well I was, I now know it's not coming so I suppose I should do something .... productive.

I'd Be Fired Regularly, But I'd Enjoy It

I found this article on a jaunt round the web.

And it kind of pisses me off that it in the "oddly enough" section.

Anyway, being fired for "contradiction of superiors". I don't know about you but I've rarely worked for anyone I considered my superior. My boss yes, my superior no. That aside, how the hell can you possibly be expected to work under conditions like that ? You can't contradict your boss even if s/he is wrong without incurring a fine ? And possibly ending up unemployed ?

Can you imagine it ? Thinking back to some of my illustrious bosses a whole lot of shit would have hit the fan on several occasions if someone hadn't pointed out what a complete tosser they were being and just how wrong/stupid some of their ideas/instructions were. In nice non confrontational language of course. Sometimes.

Persephone

I swear we could be twins, me and Monica Bellucci. Cranky, us ?

I Am Cranky Woman

So very cranky. At somewhere between between six and eight in the morning I am woken by the drums of the enemy.

Okay, okay, it's nothing that dramatic. It's just starting to feel like it.

Some idiot in my building has a faulty heating system and I hear it clearly every fucking morning. Their landlord doesn't have to put up with the noise so there has been no urgency in their actions. Despite there being an accompanying leak. I first informed the landlord in mid august, and while I have been away for some of that time I have been at home for at least ten days, as has my boyfriend. I have been back in touch, and they said they would keep me informed. That was a week ago, and I have heard nothing. Although, they did say they sent a plumber out the day I originally called. Obviously he was INCOMPETENT !! He hadn't been back in touch with his employers. 'Scuse me ? You are paying him to do a frickin' job, make him give you an update. Don't pay him until he fucking does !!!

Ten fucking days !! Ten fucking days of interrupted sleep. Of being rudely awakened by what sounds like heavy base. Not to mention worrying about the damage all this is causing to the building. 'Cause there's water leaking on to wooden support beams. Fun, eh ?

Today, I feel very much like some sort of freakin' zombie. I have had three cups of coffee already and I know I need more just to function. My eyes feel like they are burning. I'm sure there must be some sort of medical diagnosis for being abruptly awaken rather than waking naturally. At this moment I'm calling it Cranky Woman Syndrome. And I have it in spades.

I'm off to call the offending landlords.

That'll be fun, won't it ?

Dear Tara

Someone named Tara left a comment on my blog.

Tara said...

hey its tara, here is the website i was talking about where i made the extra summer cash..........the website is here

04 September 2007 02:24

Okay, thanks Tara. Problem is I have no idea who you are, neither do I remember a conversation about extra summer money. If that's my faulty memory, please remind me. Other options are as follows.

You got lost and ended up here so welcome, hang around if you fancy but you might want to let who ever was supposed to get your message, well, get the message.

On the other hand if you, as I suspect, are leaving random comments on random blogs to drum up business for the linked site then,

Hahahahahahahaha,

I do not wish to help your corporate overlords. Nor do I wish to pay you for the "privilege" of doing so. And yeah I did remove the link when I copied your comment. And I removed the comment.

You see, the link took you to a site where, for an amount of money, you would be hooked up with some surveys for big corporate types that you would be paid for. Michelle McAllister, whose site it seems to be, claims to make $4000 a month from it, enabling here to jack in her crappy job. Bully for you Michelle. I mean that sincerely. Honest. I'm sure your monthly earning has nothing to do with charging $49.99 a month to sign people up. Cynical, moi ? It's the length of the sales pitch before the mention of the cost that does it. Lots and lots of wordage about the amount of money you can make, how it enriches your life in non monetary ways, a mention of the free trial then a bit about how you have to be the right sort of person to be able to be signed up and how she'll let you be a member if you prove yourself, then the price.

Anyway, there is a 60 day free trial on offer. Fab, you might think, free money, but if I read things correctly you have to pay the fee first. It will be returned if you email after 60 days to say you weren't satisfied. So it's not really a free trial, and Michelle gets to make interest on you $49.99 for 60 days. Nice.

For me though it really comes down to the fact that I refuse to extend any assistance to massive corporations to enable them to market their products more successfully. Actually, no it's not, it's the fact that she says she watches day time tv while taking part in the surveys. Daytime tv ? AAArrrrrggggghhhhh !!! A fate worse that a McJob surely ?

A Sad Moment

As much as it pains me I am retiring one of my links, well, in a way. My crazy roommate is being removed from my list of interesting things. It's a damn shame, but there has been nothing new since July. For awhile there was a video taken from the live feed of P at his desk. P was trawling the net and stumbled across the site, and impressed with his status as an "internet star", permitted the live feed. I am assuming that since P knows about it the fun has left the building.

It's still worth checking out if you haven't before. To state the obvious, start from the beginning and work your way through. I laughed. Lots.

So fare thee well P and M. We will miss you. And your crazy.

No, Surely Not

I was wandering around blogland today, looking for new and interesting things. This is an amusing past time, really it is. I start with a blog I like, then head off to one they link to and just keep doing that until I'm bored or have to do something important with my time. This approach has led to some interesting and some questionable discoveries. Today's choice discovery is .....(insert fanfare)..... this gem. Here's how she describes her blog,

"I have been keeping this blog since March 2005. Almost daily I post photos of my outfit, hair and makeup and list what brands and products I use. I occasionally provide product reviews and answer questions from readers."

I'm sure she's a lovely girl. But really, daily pics of your clothing choices ? Your make up ? And you've been doing this since 2005 ? Eh ? In her defence I didn't actually bother to read more than one entry. Okay, I didn't really even read that, I scanned it. Maybe I'm just jealous.

Hahahahahahahahahaha.

Did I laugh ? Sorry. What the hell, whatever floats your boat.

Bet I end up going back for a look though.

Cotton Wool Head

I have cotton wool in my head today. A lot of cotton wool. Possible to the exclusion of all else. It was a friends 30th at the weekend, and of course there was a celebration. Nearly thirty of us went out for dinner at a very nice restaurant and indulged in three tasty courses of good food. And about fourteen bottles of wine. Ah, the joy. Afterwards we headed to secret location to continue the party. Until about five in the morning. Fun was had, shit was talked. Excellent. The only, slight, downside is that I am now in my third, (fourth ? I don't remember) week of having a very full diary and my body is starting to complain.

There were two very enjoyable jaunts to foreign lands where, for reasons unknown, three course meals were the norm. I don't understand it, I don't eat like that at home and neither , as far as I am aware, does anyone else we were with. Something about being on holiday. In between the trips my boyfriend and I went to visit friends, which included more eating out, and drinking. Yes I know, I could just not have the booze, but have you tried being the sober one while everyone else is indulging ? Talk about dull. Fortunately we have no plans this weekend and will not be making any. Unfortunately it's the only weekend without plans for quite sometime afterwards. Oh, well. Rice, veg and water for me during the week I feel. Small portions too.

I must go and make some more coffee, it at least allows a semblance of life to be maintained.

Rest and Relaxation

I could really do with some.